Have You Seen Me? There's An App For That!

As I update this mess of a blog, Have You Seen Me? is one campaign that I plan to revive, especially since it coordinates with NCMEC. I had been featuring 'Have You Seen Me?' as they arrived in my mailbox on the back of RedPlum.

Upon investigation, I have learned two things this morning.

1) Valassis' RedPlum is re-branding to RetailMeNot Everyday

NCH Marketing Services, Inc. and Clipper Magazine are Valassis subsidiaries, and RetailMeNot Everyday™ is its consumer brand. Its signature Have You Seen Me?^® program delivers hope to missing children and their families.
Valassis and RetailMeNot Partner to Form a New Consumer Brand Experience

2)  The Have You Seen Me? campaign picture, shown on the back of RedPlum, has an app.

The app is designed to work with RedPlum® or Clipper® mailers. Launch the app on your device and follow the onscreen instructions to get started.
Have You Seen Me? Help Center

On the help center website linked above, RedPlum does acknowledge the fact that they are moving coupons to RetailMeNot Everyday, so hopefully the Have You Seen Me? app will transition smoothly.

Picture:Valassis.com

It's been a few years...

In case you haven't noticed, it's been quite a few years since I've done anything with this blog. Apparently, I have a LOT of work to do. As I discovered yesterday, there are many broken/hijacked links, posts that are not up to date, and gadgets that are no longer active.

It's time to clean house!

mammabear

Free the Scott Sisters!!!UPDATE

MAINSTREAM NEWS REPORTS
-----------
From: Nancy Lockhart
http://www.wapt.com/news/26314528/detail.html

Governor Suspends Scott Sisters' Sentences
Gladys Scott To Donate Kidney To Jamie Scott
POSTED: 4:45 pm CST December 29, 2010
UPDATED: 5:08 pm CST December 29, 2010

JACKSON, Miss. -- Gov. Haley Barbour on Wednesday suspended the double life sentences of sisters Jamie and Gladys Scott, who were convicted in 1994 in connection with a robbery.╲To date, the sisters have served 16 years of their sentences and are eligible for parole in 2014. Jamie Scott requires regular dialysis, and her sister has offered to donate one of her kidneys to her," Barbour said in a statement. "The Mississippi Department of Corrections believes the sisters no longer pose a threat to society. Their incarceration is no longer necessary for public safety or rehabilitation, and Jamie Scottâ•˙s medical condition creates a substantial cost to the State of Mississippi."Barbour said the Mississippi Parole Board reviewed the sisters' case and recommended that he neither pardon them nor commute their sentences.╲At my request, the Parole Board subsequently reviewed whether the sisters should be granted an indefinite suspension of sentence, which is tantamount to parole, and have concurred with my decision to suspend their sentences indefinitely," Barbour said. ╲Gladys Scottâ•˙s release is conditioned on her donating one of her kidney to her sister, a procedure which should be scheduled with urgency."Barbour said the release date for Jamie and Gladys Scott is a matter for the Mississippi Department of Corrections.In September, nearly 200 people rallied at the state Capitol asking Barbour to release the sisters.According to court records, the Scott sisters were found guilty of luring two men down a road near Forest, where three young assailants used a shotgun to rob the men.The Scott sisters had exhausted all of their appeals.

============
Dec. 29, 2010

GOV. BARBOUR'S STATEMENT REGARDING RELEASE OF SCOTT SISTERS
"Today, I have issued two orders indefinitely suspending the sentences of Jamie and Gladys Scott. In 1994, a Scott County jury convicted the sisters of armed robbery and imposed two life sentences for the crime. Their convictions and their sentences were affirmed by the Mississippi Court of Appeals in 1996.

"To date, the sisters have served 16 years of their sentences and are eligible for parole in 2014. Jamie Scott requires regular dialysis, and her sister has offered to donate one of her kidneys to her. The Mississippi Department of Corrections believes the sisters no longer pose a threat to society. Their incarceration is no longer necessary for public safety or rehabilitation, and Jamie Scott's medical condition creates a substantial cost to the State of Mississippi.

"The Mississippi Parole Board reviewed the sisters' request for a pardon and recommended that I neither pardon them, nor commute their sentence. At my request, the Parole Board subsequently reviewed whether the sisters should be granted an indefinite suspension of sentence, which is tantamount to parole, and have concurred with my decision to suspend their sentences indefinitely.

"Gladys Scott's release is conditioned on her donating one of her kidneys to her sister, a procedure which should be scheduled with urgency. The release date for Jamie and Gladys Scott is a matter for the Department of Corrections.

"I would like to thank Representative George Flaggs, Senator John Horne, Senator Willie Simmons, and Representative Credell Calhoun for their leadership on this issue. These legislators, along with former Mayor Charles Evers, have been in regular contact with me and my staff while the sisters' petition has been under review."
****************************************

Dec. 30, 2010

Sister's Kidney Donation Condition Of Miss. Parole

Unique Parole Condition: Miss. Inmate Must Give Kidney To Sister To Have Life Sentence Lifted
(AP) JACKSON, Miss. (AP) - Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour has suspended the life sentences of two sisters convicted in 1994 for their roles in an armed robbery, but one sister's release is contingent on her giving a kidney to the other.

Gladys and Jamie Scott were convicted of leading two men into an ambush in central Mississippi in 1993. The men were robbed of $11 by three teenagers who hit both men in the head with a shotgun and took their wallets, court records said.

The Scott sisters are eligible for parole in 2014, but 38-year-old Jamie Scott "requires regular dialysis, and her sister has offered to donate one of her kidneys to her," Barbour said.

Barbour said in a news release that 36-year-old Gladys Scott's release is conditioned on her donating one of her kidneys to her sister.

Dan Turner, Barbour's spokesman, told The Associated Press that Jamie Scott was released because she needs the transplant. He said Gladys Scott will be released if she agrees to donate her kidney because of the significant risk and recovery time.

"She wanted to do it," Turner said. "That wasn't something we introduced."

Barbour is a Republican in his second term who has been mentioned as a possible presidential contender in 2012. He said the Mississippi Parole Board reviewed the case at his request and agreed with the indefinite suspension of their sentences, which is different from a pardon or commutation because it comes with conditions.

An "indefinite suspension of sentence" can be reversed if the conditions are not followed, but those requirements are usually things like meeting with a parole officer.

The Scott sisters have received significant public support from advocacy groups, including the NAACP, which called for their release. Hundreds of people marched through downtown Jackson from the state capital to the governor's mansion in September, chanting in unison that the women should be freed.

Still, their release won't be immediate.

Mississippi Department of Corrections Commissioner Chris Epps said late Wednesday that he had not received the order. He also said the women want to live with relatives in Florida, which requires approval from officials in that state.

In general, that process takes 45 days.
__._,_.___

Jackson, MS march and rally to Free the Scott Sisters
Wednesday, September 15, 2010.
I originally started ~LostFaces~ of the missing, as a means of aiding in the distribution of information, concerning missing children and persons. Yet I find that my perception of who a ~LostFace~ is, continually changes with time.
I have come to realize that some ~LostFaces~ are not even missing at all.

Read, and decide for yourself... Are Jamie and Gladys Scott ~LostFaces~ Too?

In October of 1994, Jamie and Gladys Scott were sentenced to double life terms in prison. That's double sentences each! Neither sister had prior convictions or arrests. Three young men confessed to the robbery and implicated Jamie and Gladys in the crime.
On December 24, 1993 Scott County Sheriff's Department arrested the sisters for armed robbery. The three young men were all related and referred to as the "Patrick Men". Coercions, threats and promises led these men to turn state's evidence on the Scott Sisters. The Patrick men received lenient sentences in exchange for their testimonies.
During a confusing and obviously fabricated statement on the witness stand, testimony was brought out regarding the coerced statement, the jury still found Jamie and Gladys Scott Guilty.
During the trial the Patrick man admitted that he did not write the confession, the police did. He was threatened and told, "He would be sent to Parchman and made out of a woman". (He was 14 years old during this testimony).
In 1998, one of the Patrick Men wrote a sworn affidavit telling the truth - that Jamie and Gladys were not involved. The court never heard the affidavit!

WHAT IF IT WERE YOU?
I ask this question each time an injustice happens and action from us are needed... I am puzzled about the apathy that we have when it comes to injustice. It appears that if it is not directly affecting us individually, we just aren’t feeling the pain of someone else, the loss of someone else... What If It Were You

Your assistance is very much needed to make this case public. Please read the transcripts, forward flier, sign the petition, and assist us in making this case viral! At this time we are asking people to write to the Sentencing Project to ask their assistance in this case .
Petition for Jamie and Gladys Scott

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Clicky Pic

Free The Scott Sisters
powered by Change.org
Start a Petition »

Shared Parenting CAN Work...It CAN be done!

It's 6:30 on a Friday morning. Missy arrives at her childcare providers home, ready for a new school year. Graduating from grade K to 1st grade brings a whole new schedule for her parents to work out - at home, with the childcare provider, and with the school.

What makes Missy and her schedule different than a lot of other children going back to school this year?
Her parents have a 50/50 shared custody plan.

How do I fit into this?
I'm the childcare provider, and for the past year I have watched Missy's parents work through various scheduling situations, in order to have a workable, shared parenting relationship.

Needless to say, I have changed the names of this family, and I have asked both parents permission to post this.

Missy's mom asked why I wanted to write about them.
All I can say is that Missy's parents do such a tremendous job with shared parenting that they deserve a major shout-out. While handling their own situation, John and Jane S. have been unknowingly setting example of what can be accomplished, when 2 separated/divorced parents work together, for the best interest of their child.

Jane answered my ad for childcare about a year ago, and even though they are divorced, BOTH parents brought Missy to meet with me. It seems they prefer to hire the same childcare provider, instead of Missy having to switch providers every week.
Yes! BOTH Parents worked TOGETHER to find childcare.

SHARED PARENTING CAN WORK...IT CAN BE DONE!

At first I was nervous with this shared custody arrangement. I was concerned that I would say something to one parent that would 'upset the cart,' so to say.
But over the course of the year, both parents have impressed me many times over, and I am no longer worried about either of the parents getting jealous about something, starting a fight, or having the police to my house.

I have observed John and/or Jane holding their tongue, instead of making bad comments about the other.

Both John and Jane S. have been flexible enough to smoothly handle Dr. and Dentist appointments.

Missy came home from school one afternoon with a small problem. Even though it was not life threatening, I asked her if she wanted to use the phone and talk with her Mom... Dad didn't freak out because I allowed Missy to call her mom, when it was his week.
I guess he just trusted my judgment on which parent I felt should handle the phone call.
What a smart Dad! Instead of insisting that all phone calls be made to him on his week, he traded off that one phone call - for a lifetime of trust!

AND...

Even though it was Mom's week to have Missy, it was Dad's scheduled vacation time, so she allowed Dad to take Missy on summer vacation.
Jane had every right to refuse this request...after all, it was her week!
But she didn't.
What a smart mom! She gave up one of her weeks - for a lifetime of respect!

SHARED PARENTING CAN WORK...IT CAN BE DONE!

John and Jane S. don't deserve to be considered a 50/50 parenting arrangement, because from what I've witnessed, BOTH Parents are giving even more than 100%

I frequent various sites and forums that deal with children being used as a pawn, in the 'game of divorce,' and I've seen some rather depressing statistics of parents who alienate their children from the other partner.

I am hoping that this post will give a bit of encouragement to those parents who are searching for ways of better handling their shared custody arrangement.

SHARED PARENTING CAN WORK... IT CAN BE DONE!

For many reasons, I think it's important that parents start finding more positive posts/stories about shared parenting.
If you feel you have a working shared parenting arrangement, and you would like to share, please contact me.
mammabear89@yahoo.com

When Andrew Came Home

A child abducted by a stranger brings about outrage in the community, and there is a great public outcry.
Had that same child been abducted by a parent, the common reaction is,
"Well, at least the child is with the other parent, so they are probably OK."

Based on a true story, 'When Andrew Came Home' was released in 2000.

With so many safety No-No's,Secret Builders earns this moms YES!

DON'T talk to strangers!
NEVER tell someone you are home alone!
NEVER accept a strangers candy OR get in their car!
DO NOT walk home alone!
These are only a few things we preach to our children, as we teach them to be safety minded individuals.

The internet is no different.
NEVER use your real name!
DO NOT give out personal information on the internet!
DON'T believe someone just because they say they are a 12 year old friend!
NEVER meet with someone you have met on the internet!!!

Many 'seemingly harmless' social networking sites have become nothing more than a hunting ground for predators who are on the prowl!
We surely can't lock our children away to keep them safe, and let's face it-
the internet is NOT going to go away!
Therefore, as parents all we can really do is teach our children good safety rules, remain involved, and be vigilant.

Once my son graduated from Elmo's world, Thomas the Train, and Nick Jr, I quickly realized that I'd best be on my toes!
As soon as he'd show me a site that I thought was ok, he'd turn around and prove me wrong by clicking on an external link at the bottom of the page.
I was horrified to learn that with a few clicks, my son could go from 'fun math facts' to 'kill 'em all DEAD DEAD DEAD!'
YIKES!

I was leary when he told me about a new site called 'Secret Builders'
Especially when he mentioned that it's a chat site.
My first thought was,
'And it's a secret Why???'
PLUS
I'm not ready for my son to be in chat~
even though he is!
BUT, I have an open mind, and I promised that I'd check out Secret Builders with him. I'm glad I did!

SecretBuilders is a virtual world for children 5 to 14 years old powered by a web 2.0 community of children, parents, educators, writers, artists and game developers. On SecretBuilders, children will explore virtual lands, undertake quests, play games, maintain a home, nurture a pet, and interact with their friends. Three features which form the backdrop for SecretBuilders distinguish it from other online worlds:

* Children learn through immersing themselves in the stories, themes, and concepts from the best in literature, arts and humanities. They will interact with famous historical and fictional figures and be introduced to content and characters from world civilization and the great thoughts and ideas of human creativity.

* Children will create this site, not just consume it. They are directly involved in creating this world with their ideas, critiques and contributions on virtually every aspect of the site and many of their ideas will be implemented!


* Children publish their works – writings, art, videos – making SecretBuilders their own personal store of creativity. They can invite friends and family to view their works, and comment upon them. Seeing their works published and enjoyed by others instills tremendous for self-confidence as well as motivation to do more.
Secret Builders~About Us

I helped my lil'guy open an account in Secret Builders, then I spent a great deal of time doing what I always do...
I surfed the site & Here's what this mammabear found:

1) There are NO external links! Yay!
2) Since I signed him up, I have the right to cancel his account.
3) Secret Builders has many games...NONE of them promote violence!
4) There are many ways for a child to actually learn something...
even if they didn't mean to!
5) Secret Builders has rules for chatting!
These rules include giving out personal information.
ANYONE breaking these rules can be banned!
It's a great introduction into the world of chat.

I do have one confession...
My son was having a good time in Secret Builders.
TOO good of a time.
Sooooo, what's a mammabear to do?
YEP! I got my very own account, and now I'm a member of Secret Builders too.
It's a great way to remain involved in my son's internet activities,
and, we have a great time playing games together!

OK...
So I've been busted playing Secret Builders all by myself!
So again I say, 'What's a mammabear to do?'

Recognize insecurity & put it in it's place!

We made initial contact by E-mail, through a 3rd party. At first I was skeptical of who it was I was talking with. We e-mailed personal questions&answers back and forth
until the both of us were satisfied that it was indeed mom and son talking.
That's when insecurity stepped in!

What if he doesn't really want to reunite, but instead just wants the chance to tell me how much he hates me?
What if he tells me that he never wants to see me again?
Will he be embarrassed of the mom he barely remembers, once we go to video cam?
What if he doesn't believe anything I say to him?

Those were just a few of the questions nagging at me, when we first began our reunification process.

In spite of my worries, our conversations went well.
"Skype!" He suggested.
"HUH?"
He patiently explained how to download the Skype program.
After ten years of searching, there my older son was, sitting right before my eyes!
I didn't have a cam set up at first, so he could not see the tears as I traced my fingers across the computer screen.

For about a week we met up on Skype just about every night.
We asked each other questions. I heard "Do you remember?" about a million times.
We played songs for each other. We sent funny video links back and forth. I 'introduced' him to his little brother. We took many pictures of each other on Skype...
All of these activities helped fill in gaps, when we were lost at what to say next.
Then as easily as he reappeared in my life, he was gone!

Did I say something wrong? I was honest with his questions.
(Even the uncomfortable ones) Should I have lied to him instead?
Maybe he really did hate me, and just wanted to ......

The list of 'what if's' goes on and on. All of these questions were filled
with self doubt.
I am sure that I was miserable to be around at this point.

I sent him an Email, but there was no answer. Perhaps I am being too pushy, and he feels like I'm bugging him too much?
That's it! If he don't want to talk anymore, I get it...

About 2 weeks later, he contacted me. I was afraid of being rejected again, so I tried to remain aloof. That didn't work well for me and instead, my heart bubbled over with joy.
It turns out that I had neither said nor done anything wrong.
The lack of contact was simply because he's a teen boy, with things to do. Go figure!
About that unanswered E-mail?
"I HATE to write, mom! I don't write Email or letters. I did read your letter though."

I went through this 'insecure phase' the first few months of initial contact. Every time I didn't hear from him, I blamed myself, and constantly questioned what it was that I had done wrong.
Yet each time it was the same answer....
A young adult with things to do!
Whew!

It took quite a few months, and a bit of pressure from my sis for me to take the next BIG step.

It's not that I didn't want to see my own son...
After all, I'd been searching for him and his brother for over 10 years.
But I was insecure and frightened to death.
Afraid of what?
Everything! I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. I was afraid of doing the wrong thing. You name it, and I was just downright scared of messing it up!

FINALLY I asked. "Would it be o.k. if I came down, and we went out for a pizza or something?" Instead of a slice of pizza and not enough time, the people with whom he lived invited me to their home for the weekend. How kind of them!

It was a long enough drive to where he lives. Long enough for me to worry myself ill!
What if they were luring me there, only to gang up and beat the crap out of me?
What if it were a hoax, and I made the drive, only to find that it was a wrong address?

Do you see an unhealthy pattern developing?
For every step forward with our reunification, I worried myself 3 steps back.
BAD MAMMABEAR!!!
Again all of this worry was unnecessary.

After 10 + years of searching, I FINALLY MET MY SON!
I can never repay these 'strangers' who opened up their home as a 'neutral-comfort zone,' so that my son and I could reunite.
Words can't possibly describe that weekend. We had a great time!
(Although I am suspicious that he was trying to do me in, with that 12 mile hike in the wee AM hours!)
The weekend came to an end waaayyy too soon. It was impossible to even begin to make up for the 10 years gone by.
I grew bold and asked him if he wanted to come visit for a week, and was more than elated when he agreed.
Within the week he met his little brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives. There were a few informal dinner parties. The two of us stayed up late, trying to catch up with lost time.
Many many times he compared himself and his mannerisms to mine. He saw! What an awesome compliment!

Alas, it was time to take him back home. I have to admit that It wasn't easy to do that!
There was still so much left unsaid.
And yet he said it all...
With a hug he asked, "When are you coming back, mom?"

~LOCATED~Now What???

You've finally located a missing loved one... Now What?

The search for a missing loved one affects many people.
Parents, siblings, grandparents, children, aunts, uncles, and friends, all find their lives forever changed.
If your life has been touched by the search for a missing loved one, and you are now dealing with reunification issues...
If you find yourself asking 'NOW WHAT?'
Please take a few moments to read through this. Your comments, ideas, questions, and suggestions are more than welcome.
mammabear

Often when a loved one is missing families talk about ‘just needing to know they are alive'. When the missing person is discovered to be alive much joy and relief is brought to anxious family members and friends. Yet, many discover that a number of issues surface and create friction within relationships – particularly those between the missing person and their family members and friends

You are NOT alone!
These 2 links offer confirmation that emotions can be quite confusing, once a loved one has been located...
Someone is Missing:The Reunion
The Missing Person Has Been Located...What Now? (PDF format)

Initial Reunification Tips for Parents
A child who has been missing and is about to be or has been reunited with his or her parent(s).
Vanished Children's Alliance offers some helpful tips for the initial contact.
Initial Reunification Tips for Parents (PDF Format)

Christina Whittaker

Christina was last seen at approximately 11:45PM at the Rookies Sports Bar in the vicinity of the 600 block of Broadway in Hannibal.

She had met with friends and eventually asked to leave the bar due to intoxication. Witnesses state she left the bar alone.

Her cell phone was found on the ground on South Seventh St., several blocks away from the bar.

Investigative Agency
Hannibal, MO Police Department
Phone(573) 221-0987
Investigative Case# 2009-30080



Alias / Nickname: Tina Young
Date of Birth: 03-28-1988
Date Missing: 11-13-2009
From City/State: Hannibal, MO
Age at Time of Disappearance: 21
Gender: Female
Race: White
Height: 66 inches
Weight: 120 pounds
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Brown

William Rinehart with Big River Investigations in Quincy said he's pretty sure Christina Whittaker is in the Peoria area...
Investigator thinks Christina Whittaker is alive

Before having a balloon release and ceremony to mark the eighth year...
Christina Whittaker missing 8 years, mother remains sure she is alive

Link to Printable Poster
Photo: LostNMissing Inc
This post updated 3/18/18

What Happened To Damien Nettles???

I came across this video of Damien Nettles by following up on a Myspace comment, written by Joe Chisholm.

Anyone With New Facts Or Information Relating To The Disappearance Of Damien Nettles Can Call Hampshire Constabulary On 101(Mention Operation Ridgewood) Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111

I was thinking of the tragedy of this case just recently. Anniversaries are excruciating and it is small comfort to families that others know what they are experiencing right now. My family doesn’t know the words either, that would help assuage ambiguous grief but we understand...

Damien Nettles was last seen in the Cowes area of the Isle of Wight on November 2nd, 1996.
Damien was 16 years old when he was last seen. He was described as 6'3 tall, slim build with brown hair shaved at the back and brown eyes.
He was wearing dark fleece jacket and dark blue jeans and black boots. The above photographs show him aged 16 years old and also age progressed to how he may look in his 20's.


There is a more recent article, linked below, extensively covering Damien's disappearance
Damien Nettles: The boy who disappeared
Damien Nettles Homepage
Missing! Damien Nettles (Myspace)









Picture: Missing Damien Nettles Home Page
Updated March 19, 2018

Help Find The Missing Act H.R. 3695 (Billy's Law)

TO IMPLEMENT H.R. 3695, THE HELP FIND THE MISSING ACT INTO BILLY'S LAW, Simply Cut/Paste the Following Letter and send out to your Federal Congressperson:
"10 Seconds" to accomplish Steps:
Simply remove the X's and replace with your information.
Next click on Write Your Representative
(This service will assist you by identifying your Congressperson in the U.S. House of Representatives and providing contact information.)




October XX, 2009



TO: Congressmen XXXX

FROM: Name – Address – City/St/zip

RE: H.R. 3695, The Help Find the Missing Act (Billy's Law)


Dear Congressmen XXXXX:

Thank you, in advance for reviewing my letter and the information below. As a Representative of our district, I am hoping that you will support H.R. 3695. This is very important to me and as a member of our community I believe this is important to all, and hopefully to you as well.


It is no longer a rare occasion in which one may become a missing statistic, rather it happens more often than we would like. The growing number of citizens with Alzheimer's and other cognitive disabilities also has shown a tremendous increase in missing loved ones, which also includes those with other cognitive disorders such as autism.


Your support, and those of your colleagues, are desperately needed. We feel if we do not gain support the bill will just die off. This bill is very necessary. We only want to have the gaps closed that will enable families of missing to have one source to be able to search for their loved ones.


Some recent published examples are:


* 200 unidentified bodies,in Florida, right now from 60's and 70's lying in wait in county morgues, unidentified. Orlando Sentinel


* In Los Angeles, there are 4815 unclaimed.
Los Angeles County Department of Coroner


Every year tens of thousands of Americans go missing, never to be seen by their loved ones again. Additionally, there are also an estimated 40,000 sets of unidentified human remains that are being held or disposed of across the country. Sadly, because of gaps in the nation’s missing persons systems, missing persons and unidentified remains are rarely matched. The Help Find the Missing Act (Billy’s Law) is an effort to fix these gaps. We want to help families to have the resources so that we can lessen the burden on the system as well as bringing loved ones home for a proper burial.

Please review the below and help by supporting H.R. 3695

Filling in the Gaps of the Nation’s Missing Persons Systems

Endorsed By: Connecticut Department of Public Safety, National Forensic Science Technology Center, National Center for Forensic Science, Doe Missing Persons Network, Center for Hope, Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons, Inc.

Sponsored by Representatives Chris Murphy (D-CT) and Ted Poe (R-TX)

This legislation is named after Billy Smolinski of Waterbury, Connecticut who went missing on August 24, 2004 at the age of 31. Billy’s family knows all-too-well the systemic challenges in trying to find the missing. They quickly learned that while federal law mandates law enforcement report missing children, there are no such requirements for adults – or unidentified bodies. Compounding this problem is the fact that local law enforcement agencies, medical examiners, and coroners, often don’t have the resources or training to voluntarily report these cases. Finally, even when missing adults and remains are reported, the wide-range of unconnected federal, state, local, and non-profit databases to help match the missing with unidentified bodies, makes finding a match an often insurmountable challenge.

Billy’s Law builds upon recent efforts to address these issues by:


* Authorizing, and therefore helping to ensure funding for, the National Missing Persons and Unidentified Persons System (NamUs), which was created in July 2007 by the Department of Justice (DOJ) to provide a missing persons/unidentified database that the public could access and contribute;


* Connecting NamUs with the FBI’s National Crime Information Center (NCIC) in order to create more comprehensive missing persons and unidentified remains databases and streamlining the reporting process for local law enforcement;


* Creating an incentive grants program to help states, local law enforcement and medical examiners/coroners report missing persons and unidentified remains to NCIC, NamUs, and the National DNA Index System (NDIS);


* Calling on the DOJ to issue guidelines and best practices on handling missing persons and unidentified remains cases in order to empower law enforcement, medical examiners and coroners to help find the missing.

In closing, I thank you again for your review and hopeful support. Should you have any questions or needs, I am sure that Representative Chris Murphy (D-CT) and Ted Poe (R-TX) would be honored to respond to your inquiries.


Respectfully,


XXName

XXAddress

XXCity/State/Zip

XXPhone Number


Source:
Peace4 the Missing

Please don't allow Them to remainThe Forgotten

The Forgotten Network gathers in coffee shops and living rooms to discuss leads, clues and tips, each bringing their own motivations and skills to the table, each driven by a deep sense of purpose. Donovan is a former detective who left the force after the disappearance of his own young daughter. Through the use of his investigative skills, he can help piece together each victim's story: retracing their footsteps and unearthing why they died by learning how they lived. Working against the clock to give each victim a name before being buried a John or Jane Doe, these amateur detectives are in it to bring closure... and win justice. ABC's, "The Forgotten."

To ABC, Bonanza Productions, Jerry Bruckheimer Television, and Warner Bros. Television:

We, the undersigned, greatly enjoy watching the new the forgotten TV show on the ABC network. It is a gripping drama that keeps us on the edge of our seats. It’s a great medical show with lots of action, interesting stories, and interesting characters.

Please find a way to keep the forgotten on the air. We are devoted viewers who will continue to watch the program, encourage others to do the same, and will support the series’ advertisers as well. Please keep it going, either on ABC or, if necessary, on another channel.
The forgotten: Petition to Continue the ABC TV Series

Over the last few years, I have connected with many other people who are unfortunate enough to know what it's like to have a loved one gone missing.
Even though the stories of how a loved one went missing are different, the emotions of anguish, frustration, and pain are replicated throughout the 'left-behind' community.
Yet, instead of allowing this pain and frustration to consume their lives, many people are forming an alliance on sites such as Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter.
People from all walks of life are banding together to form a network, and just like the amateur detectives on The Forgotten, many have been bringing their own motivations and skills to the table.

Justice4Billy

Jan Smolinski-Billy's mother, has spent thousands of hours leading an effort to alter the way law enforcement officers respond to the report of a missing adult. She and her husband, Bill, successfully shepherded a bill through the state legislature last year, but at the last second the bill was watered down by the Police Officers Standard and Training Council that made the recommendations voluntary.

The Smolinski's, with help from their state representative in Cheshire, Vicki Nardello, are attempting to make the changes mandatory in this legislative cycle. In addition, Janice Smolinski has been prodding Senator Joe Lieberman and Congressman Chris Murphy to sponsor a bill in Congress that mandates medical examiners across the country to take samples from unidentified remains and upload the information into NAMUS, a national data bank trying to link 160,000 missing people in the United States to the 60,000 unidentified dead being stored around the country.

Janice Smolinski has become a national spokesperson for NAMUS and was a speaker at conferences in Texas, Colorado and Maryland in 2008 that targeted law enforcement and medical examiners. The Cool Justice Report

Missing Pieces

Todd's calling to be a voice for missing and unidentified persons began when he solved the identity of the "Tent Girl" case, Barbara Hackman-Taylor, after a ten-year journey that ended in 1998. (Associated Content Community)

Project Jason

Before June 13th, 2001, we were just an ordinary family living a peaceful, happy existence. My husband, Jim, and I worked outside the home, spent time with our two wonderful sons, attended Mass every Sunday, and enjoyed the company of family and friends. On that fateful Wednesday, our lives changed forever. Our family unit was brutally ripped apart when our oldest son, Jason, then age 19, disappeared without a trace from our driveway.

Project Jason Mission Statement:
Our mission as a non profit organization is to create and increase public awareness of missing people through a variety of outreach and educational activities. Project Jason seeks to bring hope and assistance to families of the missing by providing resources and support

In 1994, Mrs. Caison founded the non-profit CUE Center for Missing Persons, which is focused on finding the missing, advocating for their causes, and supporting their families.

Offering a wide range of free services, CUE has since helped more than 8,700 families in what is often the most confusing and desperate times of their lives. In addition to providing services for the missing and their families, CUE offers college internships and youth mentoring programs.

CUE is entirely donation funded and staffed by volunteers, including Mrs. Caison, who takes no salary from the organization.
CUE CENTER

The GINA for Missing Persons FOUNDation’s mission is to educate the public by utilizing entertainment to create awareness and media attention for missing persons world-wide. GINA was created in honor of musician Gina Bos, who disappeared from Lincoln, Nebraska on October 17, 2000 after a performance. Her case remains unsolved. 411Gina.org

 Squeaky Wheel Tour® is a grass roots effort to gain attention for hundreds of missing children and adults whose disappearances do not have the scandal, intrigue, or national appeal to garner the attention of the public.






 This is an amazing opportunity that we have right here and right now to gain public attention for the missing, which will in turn create momentum and hope for us all.

The Squeaky Wheel starts here. . .with me, with you...we have the power to make a difference both individually and collectively. We are the families of the missing, the artists and communities who care about the missing, the non-for-profit organizations dedicated to the missing, and the media who sees that attention is needed to bring someone home.


Even people, who've never experienced the anguish of a loved one gone missing, have shown a genuine compassion! I don't think I've met a group of people as willing to learn and understand the confusions and pain of the 'left-behind' community searching for their missing loved one as Peace 4 the Missing - created by Maggie's Rose, writes:

Can We Bring Peace?
No, we can't...In my humble opinion and own life experience, only God can do that. And sometimes, even HIS peace is not one we are capable of truly comprehending nor accepting in this life on earth.
So, why are we here then, at Peace 4 the Missing? Why do we and why should we care? Because, even if, God willing, we are "only" somehow able to bring about even one mere drop, the tiniest of sprinkle of a peaceful, even momentarily peaceful feeling to those forced to endure the anguishing pain of the missing, then it is worth it.

A second member of Peace 4 the Missing that deserves a round of applause is Delilah, who says: Not long ago Maggiesrose and I started talking about building a place where families of missing persons could come and do what they needed to do to make their life a little bit more comforting despite the pain and sorrow they have endured. We talked and talked about what to offer and just how to do it and finally came up with the premise that if we build it, they will come. LostFaces of the Missing

The above mentioned are only a few of those, whose hard work and dedication for the missing and the families that have been left-behind, can never be over-appreciated. I cannot possibly list all organizations who have used their skills in one way or another, to 'Help Bring Them Home.' Thank you for your time and effort, and for your sincere dedication to keep our missing from becoming The Forgotten.



Pictures:
Where is William (Billy) Smolinski?
Missing Pieces
CUE
411 Gina - Squeaky Wheel Tour


Updated March 19, 2018
Even though some people and organizations listed above are "quiet" now, I could not just delete their unselfish, emotionally-draining, and time-consuming efforts. What I could -and did- do, is remove the broken links.

Enough is Enough!!!Free Jamie and Gladys Scott

9/18 JAMIE SCOTT/SCOTT SISTERS UPDATE!

Happy Birthday Sigourney ChisholmUpdate: Sigourney Located

 Joe Chisholm has been told that the daughter he has not seen since May 13, 1993, wants to contact him. Counsellors with the Canadian Centre for Child Protection told Chisholm that his daughter, Sigourney Teresa Chisholm, who grew up in Victoria under the assumed identity of Thea Whelan, is doing OK, but is still in shock... Father awaits word from Thea



Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday dear Sigourney.
Happy birthday to you.   Written by: Joe Chisholm (Dad)Today is Sigi's Birthday
 

 "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

September 20th, Sigourney is 18 years of age today – 6.574 days old. Sigourney may not know her real name, her real birthday or the truth about her life, but it’s a fact – today is her birthday. I can remember that day so vividly - September 20, 1991. What a year: The USA unleashes unreasonable force against a former brother-in-arms Saddam Hussein and the people of Iraq. Theodor Seuss Geisel – Dr. Seuss dies. “Dances with Wolves” is the Picture of the Year and The Pittsburgh Penguins defeat the North Stars to win the Stanley Cup.

And Sigourney Teresa Chisholm was born at home with her elated parents, mother – Patricia O’Byrne and yours truly, proud dad, Joe Chisholm in the company of Linda Moscovitch our mid-wife and her assistant (sorry, can’t remember her name) and our dear friend Teresa Whelan – who Sigourney was named after. Oh, and 51 Division of Metro Toronto Police stopped by for a quick peek. Seems we forgot to inform the other tenants of 30 Elm Avenue that Apartment 201 would be giving birth that day and Patricia’s screaming prompted a call to Toronto’s finest.

Patricia and I had our difficulties as a couple leading up to Sigourney’s birth but all our differences where on hold as we were both so hopeful and excited about the impending birth of our child. That day was a day of great hope and joy. Jesse, my son was 2 ½ years old at the time. I didn’t have even one Email to check that day – not many of us knew what that was, but you could send a letter anywhere in Canada for less than $0.30.

There was a transit strike in Toronto at the time and I was at a seminar downtown earlier that afternoon when Patricia’s water broke. My pager went off (yes - we had pagers back then) and I wondered who had that annoying thing turned on and why don't they turn it off? Then I realized it was me and my heart pounded so much it almost leapt from my chest. I knew Sigourney was coming. Patricia was at home and the midwife and Teresa would be there soon. I ran out of the King Edward Hotel and into a cab and blurted out my address. We were in bumper to bumper traffic and the cabbie was quite talkative - about what I have no idea because all I could think about is how I wanted to be home. Having seen a light in front of us turn green, yellow, red three times before we got to the intersection, I tossed the cabbie some money and said, “Don’t worry about it – I will run home,” and in my suit with my brief case, I started striding northbound between lines of nearly parked cars. I got home, huffing and puffing in my sweaty suit and Patricia was quite calm. I got changed, got ready and we timed contractions while waiting for the others to arrive.

Several hours later we celebrated Sigourney’s birth day.

For 5966 of those days, Sigourney has been missing, Patricia has been wanted by the law and I have been searching. Sigourney and I were only in each other’s lives (technically) for just over 600 of the first days of her life. But every day for 6574 days I have woken up each morning a father of two – my beloved Jesse whom I took a generous number of opportunities to say, “Guess What! I love being your dad!” + Sigourney who I have spent at least some of every one of over 5,900 days, searching and working towards a resolution of this conflict. I never feel that I have done enough.

Many of those days have been seemingly overwhelming as the ravages of sadness, sleep disorder, anger or anguish highjack my day, say to me, “turn off the phone, cancel your appointments – today you are my bitch.” Even looking at those words I just typed – ravage, anguish – it seems so melodramatic but if you have witnessed any mother or father in my shoes, or you are one yourself, you know those words don’t even do the levels of despair literary justice. Like living in a hurricane belt, you don’t look forward to it – nor do you resist it, you just bear down and remember you lived through the last one and the one before that.

And when others say to me, “You are so courageous,” I appreciate the kindness of what they say, but it doesn’t seem to be the right word either. I just do what any functionally bonded parent would do. It’s not bravery and it’s not noble and it’s not even integrity, it’s an unyielding compulsion to fulfill a promise you made to your child to prepare and protect them in life. A friend who knew Patricia and knows me said, “Oh my God, this has been your life’s work.” That’s how it turned out, in a way. It’s been like having the duty of a second job (a job you pay to work at) in very many ways. I can count the number of holidays I have found time for on one hand and the holidays that haven’t been Sigourney seeking or devoted to quality time with Jesse on one finger.

Still, I find time for things that I love that don’t take me too far from the phone. I love sports and I love music. Especially, seeing IndieCan through its infancy and helping young, deserving artists – this has been quite healing. It’s like I am helping other people’s children – the songs, in the absence of one of my own children. I am reminded often by well meaning friends that no child wants the pressure of being told “I sacrificed my whole life for you!” no matter what the circumstances. So, when I am not searching, I am making the best of life – some days much better than others.

At the time of writing we are only 1 ½ hours into Sigourney’s birthday and I don’t feel too bad - considering. This is a day of great symbolism for me as Sigourney transitions from child to young adult. I am faced with accepting defeat in my declaration to prepare and protect Sigourney throughout her childhood, come what may. The war Patricia declared on my fatherhood ends in success for her and failure for me. The day was never saved by the forces of good, despite noble efforts. Even in the eleventh hour, no one came to my families rescue. Patricia never saw fit to do what most would agree to be the right thing. As the Toronto International Film Festival leaves town today, there will be no Hollywood ending for the Sigourney story.

You might disagree with my conclusions as you read but check the score-board (Men love sports analogies). What is more pathetic than someone who can’t take a loss? We all know some sorry-ass person like this. Life is full of gambles; some of them just don’t go the way you wish.

Nothing really changes for me today – I am still looking and my arms will always be open wide to invite Sigourney into the life of her patriarchal family that she has been deprived of to date. The slight adjustment in my approach is that I am no longer appealing to her mother, Patricia. Sigourney is an adult and she can make her own choices.

Not that I wouldn’t talk to Patricia right now. Without knowing the present circumstances, it is likely that transitioning Sigourney back to the reality of her life would still be better with Patricia on board. But now it’s not necessary to appeal to Patricia. That’s the only small difference in my on-going search.

Now, about the quote at the top: Pardon the patriarchy of the wording. It was a century ago and I expect Longfellow would be more inclusive in his words today. This was a poet and an educator. A sensitive man who knows much suffering in his life, Longfellow came to the aid of his beloved wife who had accidentally set herself in flames. She would die a few days later from the burns and he would wear a beard the rest of his life to cover the burns he suffered in the rescue attempt.

Again, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” Many years before, Confuses said, “To understand completely is to forgive completely.” I have been collecting quotes for a writing project lately and it has been enlightening. Longfellow, especially, because of his suffering in life, his words speak to me.

I have more actual dreams of meeting Patricia than I do of meeting Sigourney. Maybe it’s because I know what Patricia looks like. Maybe the theme of the dream will answer why. Always I am walking with her and I am struggling how to ask the question that will answer “Why did you do it?” And it’s not the excuse I am looking for and not the twisted fantasy of how she has God on her side or how, like the movie, “Minority Report” she imagines that she was saving our daughter from some future evil that I would inflict upon her. I want the truth, the root-cause. I want the damage report so that I can understand and so I can forgive. I loved Patricia. I don’t want to see her as a narcissistic sociopath. She is the woman I procreated with and the blood of my daughter.

Patricia’s brothers are still hostile to this day when my name comes up. Many other family members of Patricia’s are sympathetic to my families cause, but hands-off. So many – and I know some of you twisted fucks are reading this – know in their hearts that that they have conspired with Patricia and some of them feel ambivalent at very least. Patricia did not act alone. She was encouraged. She was enabled. Many more said nothing when speaking up would have been the right thing to do. I want to understand them all and the shit in their life that can allow them to be party to something so grotesque. When I try to think of the depth of damage it takes for each person who has taken her side - how can they be predisposed to the twisted stories that she tells without doubt or sober second thought? I cannot grasp it, but I want to and I have the small comfort from the wisdom of the ages that one day the facts will be known, and from them, healing can begin.

But for now, thanks for reading and for today, if we could all devote some well-wishes to Sigourney on her 18th birthday, I would be grateful.

A personal note: I didn't have the heart to delete this birthday wish. Should family find this and want it removed, PLEASE contact me via the comment section or email, which is listed below.
Updated March 20, 2018

On to Brazil... A Dads fight to find his daughterUpdate: Emily Machado Located

Michael Sanchez Reunited With Daughter...

Arizona man finds support for 'Emily's Law' after international child custody fight

Father's Rights

FINALLY, Emily has been added to NCMEC.
Missing: Mar 27, 2008
Missing From: BERWYN, IL.

Emily
may be in the company of her non-custodial mother. They may still be in the local area or they may travel out of state. Emily is Biracial. She is Hispanic and White. Emily's ears are pierced. Her nickname is Emma.

I have talked with Michael a few times. I KNOW he has been going through a rough time, fighting to get Emily entered into NCMEC. This Dad has hit too many brick walls for the last 6 months, and could use your support. So, even if you don't know of Emily's whereabouts, please stop by his Myspace profile, or Emily Machado Missing on Facebook, and show your support.

You can find more information about Emily on Find Emily Machado

I also posted on Current, trying to get Emily's information out there.
"What if the police and NCMEC took 6 months to report YOUR child missing?"

The above information about Emily was originally posted on October 1, 2008.
A year and 1/2 later, Emily is still missing!

Reporting
Dana Kozlov

It began as a one-man crusade to get his kidnapped daughter back.
CBS 2's Dana Kozlov reports the crusade is about to go global.
Former Berwyn resident Michael Sanchez is ready to fly to South America to find his daughter Emily himself.

He knows she's there and has been since she was kidnapped by her mother more than a year ago. He hasn't seen or talked to her since.

You may be surprised to learn that Sanchez isn't even remotely alone.
Man To Search For Missing Daughter In Brazil

"You may be surprised to learn that Sanchez isn't even remotely alone"
This statement continues to bounce around in my head. I am hardly surprised. Parental abduction is something I post about quite frequently. A simple google search, on parental abductions, will reveal many left-behind-parents reaching out for help... through online groups, forums, and blogs, across the globe!



Updated March 20, 2018

Dad Fights To Get His Son BackLiam McCarty

Update-ish: The international custody case of Michael McCarty fighting for his son is briefly mentioned in yet another international custody nightmare.
Fox News-Published February 19, 2013
By Perry Chiaramonte

New York City photographer Michael McCarty has fought since 2007 for custody of his son Liam, after his ex-wife took the boy to her native Italy. Despite Liam's mother, Manuela Antonelli, being declared unfit to care for her child and McCarty having been given full legal custody, child services officials in Italy have refused to give McCarty his son back... Supreme Court says Army dad must be heard in custody battle for daughter

On March 05, 2007 5 year-old Liam Gabriele McCarty, a United States citizen, was kidnapped from his home in Manhattan and taken to Rome, Italy where he has been languishing in an Italian orphanage.

This appalling abduction was aided and facilitated by the Italian consulate in direct violation of explicit court orders that Liam not be removed from the United States. The kidnapper whom the consulate assisted is Manuela Antonelli, a psychologically disturbed international fugitive currently sought by Interpol, and on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. She is also Liam’s mother.
Save Liam.Org

Liam McCarty
DOB:Jul 22, 2001
Missing:Mar 6, 2007
Missing From:NEW YORK NY



After about an hour of trying to find new information on this case, I have come to the conclusion that instead of more updates, what I should offer - to everyone involved, is prayers. Updated March 20, 2018

Abducted child's father faces prison for peaceful protest

Clipped from -Family-Rights-Examiner
Abducted-childs-father-faces-prison-for-peaceful-protest
August 9, 6:34 AM

Donald Tenn, the Sacramento father who traveled to Washington DC recently for a rally to confront President Obama on his "fathers need to step up" comments, will be in a Columbus, Ohio courtroom Monday morning on charges related to his 4 day protest on a 175' construction crane last year.

I don't know how they're getting away with this. The judges are breaking the law. They don't care. I'm a good and loving daddy. I don't deserve this. Madison doesn't deserve this.

I hear the same story from fathers in every state. I've traveled the country and have seen it myself. I challenge anyone to sit in any family courtroom, in any city, in any state, for one hour on any day of the week. They will see that the war on fathers is real.

Lilly Aramburo - Still Missing

UPDATE: March 22, 2018
This June will make FIVE EIGHT ELEVEN YEARS Since Family and friends knew the whereabouts of Lucely "Lily" Aramburo Printable Poster


UPDATE: April 4, 2011

Lily Aramburo Missing: Homicide bureau takes over case of missing Fla. mom
By:Camille Mann
According to the Miami Herald, the homicide bureau has now stepped in to take over the investigation after the Miami-Dade's missing persons unit has spent more than two years on the case.
Read more

UPDATE: September 23, 2009
It's been over 2 years, and the question, Where is 'Lucely "Lily" Aramburo?' remains unanswered.

Lily's case remains unsolved but our resolve to find her is unwavering. We remain strong, focused and working very hard to find answers. Help Find Lily Aramburo

Lucely "Lily" Aramburo
Missing From: Miami, Florida

Date Missing: June 2, 2007

Date of Birth: November 16, 1983

Age: 24

Sex: Female

Height: 4'11

Weight: 100 Pounds

Build: Medium

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Long-Straight-Dark Brown

Race: Hispanic Complexion: Olive
Clothing: pajamas? (Not confirmed)
Large violin curves tattoo on lower back
Scar on left hand

First Post for Lily
HERE

Billboard Banner Picture: 
Justice In Miami

Printable Poster Picture
Miami Dade Florida Keys Crime Stoppers






Updated March 22, 2018

St. Louis Jane Doe

By Chad Garrison
Published on December 01, 2004
Most of what is known of Jane Doe came within days of her discovery. She was likely between the ages of eight and eleven. She was big for her age, around four-foot-ten. Without the head, she measured just over four feet. She had been raped and then strangled. Based on the lack of blood at the crime scene, police believe she was dumped in the basement after her beheading. Mold growing from the wound on her neck indicated she was there for several days before the two men found her.

Little else is known about the girl who has become the most notorious cold case in the nearly 200-year history of the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department.

ST. Louis Jane Doe deserves a name!
She deserves a proper marker!
SHE DESERVES JUSTICE!!!

The body went unclaimed on a slab in the city morgue for more than a week before it was given the name Jane Doe. For nine months she lay frozen. Finally, on a glum, rainy day in December 1983, she was buried in a pauper's grave in an historic black graveyard in north St. Louis county. At the funeral were a few homicide detectives, the chief medical examiner, and a half-dozen news reporters. Four muddy gravediggers served as pallbearers.

DESCRIPTION
DOB: Jan 1, 1972
Found: Feb 28, 1983
Sex: Female
Race: Black
Hair: Unknown
Eyes: Unknown
Height: 4'10" (147 cm)
Weight: 70 lbs (32 kg)
Found: ST. LOUIS, MO.

CIRCUMSTANCES
On February 28, 1983, the headless remains of an African American female were discovered by the St. Louis Police Department. The body had no scars, deformities or irregularities. There was no specific features that would give clues as to her identity. She was approximately between 8 and 11 years of age, so her estimated year of birth would be 1972-75. Her estimated height is 4'10" and her estimated weight is 70 lbs. Her eye and hair color couldn't be determined. She was wearing the sweater pictured at right. The "DOB" and "Age Now" fields are approximations.



St. Louis Police Department (Missouri)Det. Carroll 1-314-444-5371


Sources
The Case that Haunts

LOCATED!!!A 10+ year search

10 + years!
It's been a long haul in the search for my 2 sons.
Here is an edited copy of something I wrote on a discussion board...

Q: What happens when an abducted child ages up and becomes and adult? Do they return to the other parent? Are they notified that the other parent has been searching for them? Do they even know they have another parent or other family?

A: Post #2 BJ
The answer is as individual as the children involved

My Post
Great questions, with a good answer! I cannot speak for all circumstances or for all children...only from my own experience over the last 10 years.

First, I would like to give a major shout out to certain members of
Peace 4 the Missing

(you KNOW who you are!)

Even though I am not comfortable talking about some things at this time...due to circumstances, there are members at Peace 4 the Missing that had been very instrumental in helping with my search! Thank You!!!

Q: Do they return to the other parent?
A: I ASSUMED that all kids these days, including mine, will eventually google their own name (which would lead them to the various sites, posts, and messages I've written them over the years...WRONG!
(Due to current custody laws, my sons were never listed as missing by any organization...they were only missing to me! I call it 'legally kidnapped')

My oldest son

now admits that he hadn't realized that I considered him missing, and that he never considered googling his own name, because he didn't think anything would be there. He was quite surprised when I sent him links of the sites where I had info, and even more surprised at seeing his picture beside the word missing, everywhere.

My younger son

was 'cut off' from the outside world as much as a vengeful, alienating, family member could accomplish. His use of a computer was quite limited, and extremely monitored. He is almost 18 and just now learning about things such as myspace.
So if you are a parent in search, please do not make the mistake that I did. Do not assume your child will google their own name, frequent the popular 'kids sites' and find their own name on the internet.

It has been within the last few months that I have had the chance to 'compare notes' with my sons....
My oldest was 9 the last I had seen him. (Now almost 20)
His memory is quite vivid!
(scary, actually...lol. He accurately describes things that I have almost forgotten...such as where various furniture was located throughout our house, books that I had read to him as a child, and the various junker cars I had owned
)
My younger son was age 7 the last I had seen him. (Now almost 18)
He was told many lies over the years...he was told things such as:
They 'heard' that I was dead, and that I didn't want or love him. Apparently, whenever he recalled a memory that involved his previous life with me, he was told that these were 'made up/false' memories. He was basically brainwashed.
In the words of my older son...'he was not allowed to think'

The reunification process has been an interesting blessing.

I suppose that since my older son and I are alike in many ways, we are slower and more cautious at finding a 'comfortable zone' with each other. Neither of us are a chatter box...which leaves room for silence at times. We are both quite stubborn, and we are both a wise-a$$
Even though he would refer to me as mom, when talking with someone else:
(Such as 'I'm talking to my mom')
It took awhile before he actually called me mom, in direct reference:

(Such as 'hey mom...when will you come visit again?')
I have no problems with his 'reservations' and do not take offense, as I know it's been a long haul for all involved.

This is not so with the younger...within an hour or 2, I heard 'Hey mom!' every few minutes! He had always been the chatterbox of our family. He didn't even hold much reservation in talking problems about *ahem* guy issues...
things that, considering the circumstances, made me blush a bit!

My youngest (3rd) son has learned much about missing children/persons & his young life has been forever touched by my search for the 2 brothers he didn't even know. It was a joyous occasion when he finally got to meet his big brothers!

Both older sons live a few hundred miles away, and even though we seem to be doing well with the 'reunification process,' for now they both prefer to remain in the state that they currently reside in. We do, however, keep in contact via skype/webcam, email, and phone.
None of us are good at mailing snail-mail letters.

Both boys attended a small family reunion recently.
(The reunion went well, btw)
This reunification will be a work in progress for all involved, but all in all, it is going well.

Do they even know they have another parent or other family?

When I asked my oldest son if he REALLY believed that I had abandoned them...and didn't want them anymore, his response was that he did what he had to, to survive. *emotionally/mentally*
In other words, he had to pretend to believe that. Yet deep inside, he knew that something was amiss!

Again, my younger son was the 'target child'
He was led to believe that the abusive family member was the only person who 'cared' for and loved him. As suspected, he was taught to fear me...only the abusive abductor did not count on him standing up to her when he was older... she did not count on me finally getting a message to him. Nor did she count on his teenage curiosity. She did not expect my older son to get in contact, and let the younger one know that I am an ok mom. She did not count on the love we had for each other being stronger than his fear of her abuse. I thank God that this alienator cannot count!

Thank you to all who has taken the time to 'listen' and encourage me, when I was down...
I'm not sure I could have done this for 10 years, without the support I had found in small online communities such as Peace 4 the Missing!